Are you a rude bride?

Some women have planned their wedding since the ripe old age of twelve.

Me? I wasn't one of them.  Yes, I always knew I'd be married, but when Mr.W popped the question it wasn't an automatic switch that flipped and I knew when, where, how, what color, my wedding would be.  I actually find it ironic on some level that I have fallen so absolutely in love with this one day. 

I did however manage to spend over two years planning my wedding. I relished in planning the details, learning the ettiquette, and executing my somewhat illusive vision.  But when it came down to it, I wanted my guests to be comfortable.  I wanted to be sure they were taken care of and felt welcomed and that I had thought of their wants and needs while celebrating my day.

Now I understand that being "your day" has its perks.  The things you want, the way you want things to look, the way the food tastes... they're all your (and your fiance's) tastes.  However, if you've taken the time to invited your closest 150+ friends and family to celebrate with you, wouldn't you want to make them as comfortable as possible?

Things I am thinking of:

• Did you consider which days you would be asking family and friends to travel to attend your wedding?
• Did you put a postage stamp on the RSVP envelope/postcard?
• Did you provide your vegetarian guests with a vegetarian option, or at the very least, take the time to remove the "I only eat meat, deal with it" sign stamped on your forehead?
• Did you provide enough hor dourves during the cocktail hour for your guests while you're off snapping memories with the photographer?
• Did you consider travel time between locations (or the Catholic Gap?)
• Is there alcohol?
• Are you requiring your guests to pay for said alcohol?
• Yes, asking guests to pay for alcohol is tacky.
• Did you indicate to your guests that the reception would be held outdoors and offer to provide pashminas for the women to stay warm?
• Are there coloring books/activities for the little ones?
• Taking the time to remember even your youngests guests really shows that you've made and effort to have them enjoy your day.
• Did you avoid making a scene about whether or not you wanted to do something (i.e. throw the bouquet, money dance, whatever)
• If something went wrong, did you make a big deal about it or did you let is roll off your back?
• Nobody wants to see a pissy bride... period.
• Did you smile, laugh, enjoy your day?
• There's nothing worse than attending a wedding where the bride (or groom) looks as if there's some place else s/he would rather be.

It's a hobby...er, um... okay fine...

Weddings are an obsesssion of mine. I love them. I love everything about them.  Yes, even the hair-pulling-gut-wrenching-penny-pinching-detail-nitpicking-ness that is a wedding.

What's so great about weddings is that each wedding is absolutely unique.  Even those that give it a go more than once don't have repeat weddings.  Different locations, guests, details, dress.  It's all different.  And even if you were to witness two weddings at the same location, you have the very distinct possibility of walking away from each of the receptions with very different feelings.

Good party. Bad party.  Bad food.  Great bar. Obnoxious DJ.  Fantastic photographer.  Everything's different.  I have even on at least one occasion discovered that even using the same photographer as someone else can lead to very different perceptions of how the day came to be.

I spent over two years planning my wedding.  I loved every minute of it.  I spent a majority of that time talking with other brides-to-be.  This no doubt kept my fiance, maid of honor, mother, and family sane. I think what I enjoyed most was taking advantage of how much time I really did have to plan the wedding.  I could do a little, put it away, stop, think about things, stew, gather other ideas, weigh ideas, make a decision, sit on it, finalize the decision, and book a vendor.  I had all the time in the world to think about my ideas and research exactly how I was going to execute said details.

Despite having so much time to plan, there were certain details I didn't have control over. Contrary to what most brides believe is the devine will to coerce Mother Nature into not raining on her wedding day, it drizzled on mine.  I felt exactly three drops during my outdoor fall ceremony. Whatever. I married my very best friend that day (man that sounds corny), and no amount of falling water was going to change that. By the day of my wedding I had changed wedding coordinators six times. SIX! Not once was I ever notified directly by the venue.  Oh well.  You make adjustments and you move on.

The thing about a wedding is that at the end of the day, it's about two people.  Two people committing to spend the rest of their days together.  It doesn't matter that you showed up an extra half hour late to the reception after pictures, or that there wasn't orange ruffy at the end of the buffet. It really doesn't (so long has you the bride didn't make a huge stink about it).

::steps off soapbox::

This blog is meant to chronicle my unhealthy obsession with other peoples' weddings.